I often find myself by myself and during these times, if I’m not careful, feelings of loneliness can cause me to make decisions that can lead to further depression. Two things that have always been there for me are food and movies. No matter where I am or who I’m with I can always rely on these two things to get me through. But what if I’m just using them as distractions? Maybe when I feel lonely I need to find better ways of dealing with the feelings and not go into a coping mode. I’m currently writing television pilots and working on different feature film projects. Congruently, I’ve also had the good fortune of being exposed to the world of high-end food. Some of my closest friends are now chefs. As I write this I start to think about the connection between these two things. Maybe I just really like food and movies? Maybe they aren’t coping mechanisms? When some people get depressed or are lonely they do much more destructive things to themselves. I’m just eating and watching a film… I’m writing this blog because I want to do a better job of being conscious of my actions when I get into these lonely/depressed states. As much as I love food and movies I feel that sometimes I use them as sedatives and don’t like that. I do love them both, but I’m looking to have a healthier relationship with them. Getting started earlier in the day helps. Also, sitting down and writing helps. Exercise helps. Reading is something that helps but could also be a form of distraction. I feel like I’m lucky enough to have the courage to live the type of life I believe will make me the happiest but in this next section of my life I seek to have a healthier relationship with food and movies. I guess ultimately I should be thankful that these are first-world problems. I’m not a drunk. I’m not obese and I’m lucky to know the people in my life.
This is just something I had to get off my chest. I hope that my ability to stay conscious during times of depression grows. And I hope I continue to eat well and see films that inspire me.